I'm Aranza. 21. Inducted into the Mommyhood on December 3rd 2013. Tattooed. Pierced. && definitely more of a sinner than a saint.

"Does my sexiness upset you?

Does it come as a surprise

That I dance like I've got diamonds

At the meeting of my thighs?"

 

What I’ve Learned:
1. A girl can lose feelings for you over night.
2. A kiss can be just that, a kiss. Completely meaningless.
3. Love can be one sided but I still wonder if that is love at all
4. Never beg for someone to stay or to love you. You shouldn’t have to beg for someone to be a part of your life or to love you. You deserve better than that.
5. Stop breaking your ribs to make space for those who do not belong there.
6. Learning to breathe again is harder than the doctors said it would be.
7. I don’t know what hurts more at night; being alone or being in love.
8. Laying with someone in bed at night is temporary. It won’t get rid of the lonely. You will still wake up and leave in the morning with a heavy heart and no hand to hold.
9. Sometimes the sky rains gasoline instead of water and you have to be strong enough and ignore the urge to set yourself on fire.
10. I will be okay someday. Bad things happen for no reason sometimes and things end but that shouldn’t mean you should come to an end too. The ocean will always have waves; I just have to learn to swim through them for a bit longer.
11. The stretch marks I left on my mother from birth will not be another suicide letter I never finished.

Oliver Nolau (via oliverwr)

I want to let go…

But I’m too scared…I’m afraid it’s an act and once you know you have me everything will revert back to how it was and I’m scared how do I really know you’re just not settling? How do I know you’re not going to be cruel like you have?….

I’m just scared because….

I have to take care of our son and I can’t play hot and cold or constantly be….put down..I have priorities. He is my priority…my son

"Dead or alive"

You know the Bon Jovi song? My son has been fighting his nap time. So I put my iPod on shuffle and this song comes on I start singing along rocking him around and he’s asleep with his hand clutching onto my shirt

He gets so many cool points from me.

Such a funny little man.

Sleep time.

I go to sleep with tiny arms reaching out for me.

I go to sleep with tiny hands grasping my shirt.

I go to sleep to the sweet whimpering and breathing sounds he makes

I go to sleep next to the most perfect human being I made from scratch almost five months ago…

I go to sleep happy even when I can’t sleep…

I go to sleep so in love.

I will never regret my co sleeping decision…

It’s honestly a beautiful perfect thing

Loneliness does not come from having no people around you, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to you.

Carl Jung (via perfect)

(Source: 13neighbors)